Get your FRIDEE corona quarantine tins up in the air… cos three years ago today, Joseph Howarth Ingles — aka Down Under Durant, aka Jingling Joe, aka Slow Mo Joe, aka Dr Joseph H Ingles: Triplologist — stepped into the Utah Jazz’s starting line-up in the absence of Make Gordon Great Again Hayward and smashed the New Orleans Pelicanslike Billy Brownless smashing the Smorgys Sunday buffet… and had himself his THIRD HIGHEST SCORING CAREER NIGHT (to that point)!
That’s right, with Hayward — a sentient haircut somehow taught how to play basketball — sitting out probably because of a broken nail or something, Jingler stepped up like Mark ‘Tubby’ Taylor once AB retired, and went at the Pelicans like Bruce McAvaney after free Anthony Callea tickets.
Proving he’s the best thing to come out of Adelaide since Coopers Green & the M8 to Melbourne, Slow Mo did more hard yakka than a Happy Valley haberdasher, shooting 7-of-13 from the field… and from 3 he was like Eric Bana in ‘Chopper’ — bloody PERFECT mate.
Yep. Despite looking like a dodgy CPA caught by ‘A Current Affair’ for buying himself a boat using his neighbour Bev’s super, Jingler went bloody-well FIVE-OF-FIVE from downtown on his way to a massive 19 points!
See? Now you know why they now call that coward Kevin Durant the ‘American Joe Ingles’… even though he’s not as good at shooting threes’!
But Joe — just like Barnesy in the second-last double chorus of ‘Khe Sanh’ — wasn’t finished. Not by a long shot.
Adelaide’s favourite son also pulled down 4 rebounds & handed off 4 assists so dazzling there’s now a petition to change the name of the River Torrens to the River Ingles, the Coopers Brewery to Jingler Brewery and the Adelaide Crows to the Adelaide Flogs. (That last one’s only because Jingles is a Hawks supporter)
Joe also pick-pocketed poor Alexis Ajinca for one steal so severe that Joe also took Alexis’ passport, leaving him stranded in the States, and causing him to miss his grandmother’s 98th birthday in his native France. Classic Jokin’ Joe.
Anyway – there you go! Not a bad bloody night! 19 points, FIVE-of-FIVE from three to go with 4 boards, 4 dimes and a steal that confused a gargantuan French spud!! That’s better than a Sunday roast at Mum’s!
#ONYA Jinglin’ Joe!
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