In honour of an epic performance last night against the Bucks when Aron ‘Bangers’ Baynes — the Mareeba Man Mountain himself — went perfect from the floor (including 2-for-2 from 3 on his way to an 8 & 8 night) FIVE YEARS AGO TODAY, Bangers played his FIRST EVER NBA PLAYOFF GAME!
That’s right, despite being a cement truck disguised as an NBA player, Bangers pulled ‘em on for the Spurs as they flogged the cursed Kobe-Nash-Howard Los Angeles Lakers in the 2013 first round harder than my mate Tall Kane in his VL SS Walkinshaw Commodore flogging up and down the Goldie Esplanade on a Friday night!
Sure, Bangers only played 41 seconds, but WHAT a 41 seconds they were! Baynes Mountain laid about 40 picks in that stretch, towelling that bodgy spud Dwight Howard like he was Liesel Jones in the Beijing backstroke back in ‘08!
Of course, the only time House of Baynes bothered the blokes at the scorers table was when he called for an obviously rubbish foulbut then Bangers wasn’t put on this earth to light it up on offense, oh no. Bangers was crafted by the hand of god himself — Gary Ablett Sr — to lay more wood than a Coonabarabran chippie and deck drongos silly enough to run into one of his patented brick-wall picks.
And, as we all know, this intro to the NBA playoffs would, the very next year, culminate in Bangers leading the Spurs to the 2014 NBA title!
Even if he’s got the same haircut as that Surry Hills barista who scoffed when I ordered a long mac and I had to be all like ‘alright there topknot, settle down’…. Aron Baynes is legit an absolute Aussie ledge!!
#ONYA BANGERS!
