Four years ago today, dead-set Aussie ledge and Bala supreme Patty ‘Thrills’ Mills — aka the Torres Strait Terror, aka Patty Three Ball, aka Patty Cakes — pulled on the iconic silver and black for the San Antonio Spurs and lined up next to the Big Fundamental Tim Duncan and torched the Philadelphia 76ers like Thorpie in the 400m at Sydney 2000!
Showing more grit than noted toilet paper spokesman Lleyton Hewitt in a six-hour 5-setter, Patty Thrills went at the Sixers like my dog at that prick English springer spaniel up the road.
In only 23 minutes, Patty threw in 15 points quicker than you could say ‘Michael Carter-Williams is a flog’, shooting 6-of-9 (NICE!) from the field, and a lazy bloody 3-of-6 from downtown.
BUT! Not content to just light up the Sixers like the Rundle St Mall Christmas tree, Patty leapt like bloody Superman scaling tall buildings — but in this case it was a tall spud in Byron Mullens — for 3 rebounds, while also adding 3 assists smoother than Guy Sebastian’s falsetto.
Patty Cakes ALSO had three steals so crafty that Spud Mullens can still be found to this day wandering along the Riverwalk in San Antonio asking passers-by if they’ve seen his three balls.
The best bit? Patty — all 6-foot-nothing of him — also swatted a block so profoundly that demoralised poor Casper Ware so much that he gave up basketball, moved to Guatemala and is now a wandering priest, subsisting on a paste made of beans and monkey meat while spreading the word of Patty.
Sure, Patty Thrills also had 2 fouls, but you get that on the big jobs — especially with those Anti-Strayan mongrel refs… and anyway, stats are for nerds.
But how’s that! Just a lazy 16/3/3/3/1 in 23 minutes for Patty Thrills as he dismantled a pre-process Sixers team! Not bloody bad bala!
#ONYA Bala Pat!
