Hoist your cans to the sky! 11 years ago today, after being thrown a lifeline by the Portland Trail Blazers, Fanta Pants Shaq himself — the ledge Luke Schenscher — pulled on the black, white and red togs for his first game for the signature franchise of fixies, craft breweries, and feminist bookstores!
That’s right; after one year with the Chicago Bulls — and reportedly missing out on joining The Bamboos because he had no soul — the biggest Orange object on Earth besides Uluru was picked up by Portland to replace the injured Joel ‘Godzilla’ Pryzbilla and Raef ‘Expiring Contract’ LaFrentz on a 10-day contract.
The Blazers, for their part, were SO impressed by the Original Big Sauce that they signed him to a second 10-day, then for the rest of the season, no doubt realising they’d somehow stumbled across Patrick Ewing crossed with Ronald McDonald.
And, for a bloke who couldn’t go out in the sun, going to Portland was a bloody godsend.
In his first game for the Blazers, The Pride of Hope Forest led Portland into Pat Ewing’s old stomping ground, Madison Square Garden, the Mecca of Basketball, and, ironically enough, beat the New York Knickslike a red-headed stepchild, proving he was probably the NBA’s best bloodnut big man since Bill Walton.
In 4 minutes and 18 seconds, Super-Tall Mick Hucknall took two shots… but missed both of them. STILL! Like a Stretch-Armstrong Cameron Ling charging off a half-back flank, he also had two offensive rebounds!
The lost giant Weasley did enough though, and the Blazers beat the Knicks handily. It was an auspicious start for the Gargantuan Ginger Ninja, and he would happily find a home — complete with small-batch artisanal coffee roasters, beard-oil shops and organic farm-to-table tattooists — for the rest of the 2007 season!
After that run, the Ginger Tim Duncan — who was also the first high school kid to play for the Boomers back in ’01, don’t forget — would eventually end up coming home and winning an NBL title… and he’s still out there crushing it! Big fella just came runner up with the Gym Food Australia team — alongside Oscar Forman — in the SA 3x3HustleTournament! Unreal! What a dead-set ledge!
#ONYA Big Schensch!
