20 years ago today, Chris Anstey — aka the Original NBA Unicorn — was suiting up for the Dallas Mavericks in his rookie year and, on a cold north Texas night, went to battle like he was King Leonidas at Thermopylae against Big Zo Alonzo Mourning and Tim Hardaway‘s Miami Heat… And set himself an NBA CAREER HIGH in the process!
Toting a haircut sharper than the hairpins on Mt Panorama, the Aussie Porzingis came off the bench and terrorized the Heat like an outbreak of nits at grade 4 school camp thanks to that weird kid Sketchy Jonathan.
In his 34 minutes Anstey showed off an array of offensive skills that were smoother than Anthony Callea’s chest on his way to 12 points — going 5-of-11 from the field and hitting both of his free throws — and added two assists so beautiful that Barnaby Joyce tried to leave his pregnant mistress for them.
On top of that, the NBA’s Original Unicorn got it done on the other end too, throwing more elbows than Joel Selwood and out-hustling Zo and PJ Brown like the Chairman of the Boards himself Moses Malone in tearing down 12 rebounds.
But that’s not all! Anstey ALSO had more blocks than a set of Sydney Opera House Lego, proving that he was more of a defensive menace than Mark Bosnich and Brian Lake combined — just without having a taste for the nose candy or a face like a bag of spanners — viciously blocking FOUR Miami Heat shots into the stands.
It would go down as an NBA career high for the big fella, and was a display so devastating that it left poor Tim Hardaway so afraid of Australians that, to this bloody day, the poor fella can’t look at a kangaroo or enjoy a nice Barossa red without getting the shakes.
Sure the Original NBA Unicorn had 3 turnovers and 3 fouls as well, but you get that on the big jobs, and anyway, stats are for nerds. And to show you how good Anstey — a three-time NBL champ and two-time NBL #MVP — was back in his NBA rookie year, this outing was only his SIXTH best rookie game!
12 points, 12 rebounds, 2 assists and an NBA CAREER HIGH 4 blocks!? Not a bloody bad day’s work for a dead-set Aussie ledge!
#ONYA Big Chris Anstey!
