‘A HAMMER TRILLION’ 
🔨
🍹
A handy recipe for a Shane ‘The Hammer’ Heal Trillion in his 3rd-last rookie regular season NBA game, 21 years ago today
** What you’ll need **
1 x Shane ‘The Hammer’ Heal
1 x Minnesota Timberwolves
1 x Dallas Mavericks
1 x Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
1 x April 16, 1997
** Preparation **
1 x bench
1 x minute of court time
** Ingredients **
1 x Minnesota coach Flip Saunders, who doesn’t know he has a national treasure riding the pine
** Directions **
Step 1: Make sure you leave your Shane Heal on the bench long enough that you’re down by 15 points
Step 2: Once the game is clearly out of hand, THEN point your Shane ‘The Hammer’ Heal at the opposing team
Step 3: Let your Shane ‘The Hammer’ Heal loose for a minute to chuck up one solitary three-pointer
Step 4: If you’re Minnesota coach Flip Saunders, punch yourself in the goolies for not realising you should’ve played Shane ‘The Hammer’ Heal and gotten a win
Step 5: Realize that a ‘Hammer Trillion’ — 1 min, 0 pts, 0/0 FGs, 0 3Ps, 0/0 FTs, 0 reb, 0 ast, 0 stl, 0 blk, 0 t/o, 0 fls — is a slap in the face of the proud nation of Straya
Step 6: Step down in disgrace for not letting Hammer loose to average 30 a game
** Serves **
Nobody any bloody good to leave the Hammer on the bench.
(btw, reckon Hammer’d average 20 pts and shoot 45% from 3 in today’s NBA)
#ONYA Hammer!
