On this day nine years back, big Nathan Jawai — aka Outback Shaq — pulled on his XXXX-L number 21 and played the last of his six games with those Nickelback-listening, Sum 41-having, Mike Myers-birthing poutine-loving Dudley Do-Right Canucks, the Toronto Raptors, in a win over the Milwaukee Bucks!
While an ACTUAL genetically modified velociraptor — Chris Bosh — dominated the game, Outback Shaq hung out on the bench and stared menacingly at the Bucks’ Francisco Elson… but word is the Bucks were so terrified just by his mere presence that they gave up the ghost harder than Freo in a prelim.
So, in his final game for the only NBA team in America’s New Zealand — Canada — Big Nate the Man Mountain only played 34 seconds, and didn’t bother the scorers table, beyond one of the actual Canadian scorers politely remarking ‘Geewhiz, that fella’s pretty big ay’ when he entered.
And thus ended the tale of Outback Shaq in Toronto. 35 seconds, 0 points, 0 rebounds, 0 assists, 0 steals, 0 blocks, 0 fouls and somehow ended up a -4… but, true to form for being a bloody ledge, he still inspired the Raps to a crucial win!
SO! For his Toronto career, in his six games Big Nate played a total of 17 minutes and 53 seconds, scoring 2 total points on 4 total attempts and finishing with a .250 FG%. He also had two total rebounds — one offensive, and one defensive, and because he was playing a with a bunch of shoot-first spuds like Andrea ‘Andrea’ Bargnani, Big Nate didn’t register an assist.
The good news is, as we all know, Outback Shaq would go on to play the following year for the Minnesota Timberwolves and got another 39 games to show off the array of skills that put the fear of god into anyone who beheld him and his impressive girth.
It was just a bloody shame big Nate didn’t get to show just how dominating he could be in only two NBA seasons, with an array of coaches and front offices not realising they had possibly the dominating center in the league just sitting on their bench. Bunch of Anti-Strayan mongrels I’ll tell ya.
Oh well. Now the Big Fella’s back in Oz and punishing those foolish enough to challenge him in the post while beasting for the Taipans in the NBL!
#ONYA Big Nate Jawai!
