A year ago today, Joseph Howarth Ingles — aka Down Under Durant, aka Jingling Joe, aka Slow Mo Joe, aka Dr Joseph J Ingles: Triplologist— was still bouncing between the bench and starting for his Utah Jazz because Quinn Snyder didn’t yet realise the Jingler was the best Aussie all-rounder since bloody Keith Miller…. Still, against Blake Griffin and the L.A. Clippers, Joe had what was (until this season) the THIRD HIGHEST SCORING GAME of his NBA career!
Proving he’s the best thing to come out of Adelaide since Coopers and the M1 to Melbourne, the ledge Joe Ingles pulled ‘em on next to Dante Exum, put in some hard yakka, led the Jazz to a tight win and did what we all want to do to Austin Rivers — beat him like a redheaded step-child.
The Jingling One was hotter than a Tanunda tin roof, going 6-of-9 (NICE!) from the field and a ridiculous 3-of-4 from long distance, finishing up with 18 points. In only 26 minutes! You can see why they started calling that coward Kevin Durant ‘the American Joe Ingles’.
Despite looking like a substitute Glenelg High geometry teacher who moonlights as a dodgy CPA who gets caught by ‘A Current Affair’ after ripping off his neighbour Bev’s taxes, Joe also snatched 4 rebounds from the air like he was bloody Shaun Rehn in his pomp, and delivered 2 assists with all the brute force and dazzling delicacy of a Darren Jarman snap-pass to a leading Tony Modra.
Happy Valley’s favourite son was also slugged with 4 rubbish fouls by the mongrel refs who, with their pervasive anti-Strayan bias, blew more calls than Dwayno Russell on Friday night footy after a few cheeky reds down the Imperial.
And now Down Under Durant is out there leading the ENTIRE BLOODY NBA in 3-point percentage… but not only that, but if we take the ‘Most Valuable Player’ award literally, where do you reckon the Jazz would be without Slow Mo Joe? Up the bloody River Torrens without a paddle, that’s where. #MVP
After all, Jingler has led the Jazz to 6-straight wins, and 18 Ws in their last 20 games as they fang towards the playoffs like Lowndsey down Conrod Straight! So hoist ‘em up for a ripsnorter of a game from Down Under Durant… and you can line up for the Jingles #MVP bandwagon right behind us.
