Eight years ago today, David Andersen — aka Stretched-Out Delly, aka The Great Aussie Dane, aka Aussie Chris Bosh — was tugging on the togs for the Houston Rockets and throwing himself into fray against the pre-Jingling Joe Ingles Utah Jazz with such fury his Viking ancestors would’ve been proud… and had the 2nd HIGHEST SCORING GAME OF HIS ENTIRE NBA CAREER… and his BEST GAME OF THE SEASON!
That’s right: Stretched-Out Delly proved why he was the Best No. 13 Houston has ever had, showing off a range of offensive moves more complete than the menu at the Forest Hills Pancake Parlour and taking the Jazz frontcourt to school like a Parramatta soccer mum in a new Tarago.
In only 24 minutes, Big Ando went 7-for-11 from the field and TORCHED the Jazz for a huge 18 points, AND — showing off his long-range sniping skills like my mate Stew on the ol’ ‘Goldeneye’ on Nintendo 64 — Stretched-Out Delly showed why they call Chris Bosh the ‘American David Andersen’, dropping bombs from everywhere and setting a CAREER HIGH mark by going 3-of-3 from 3-point land!
AND! Not content with just torching the Jazz like he’d wandered into a New Orleans dive bar, farted into a trumpet and then set the bloody thing on fire, the Great Aussie Dane proved he was more well-rounded than Paul ‘Fatty Vautin, adding a staggering 7 rebounds, 3 assists, and 2 steals! That’s more impressive than your bastard mate Stew racking up kills sneaking around in ‘Goldeneye’ as OddJob while you’re still trying to bloody aim down. You’re a mongrel, Stew.
Anyway. Despite having facial hair seemingly nicked from a Russian second-hand-car salesman who moonlighted as a club promoter back in 1997, Big Ando’s best game of the year would also prove to be his biggest scoring outing for the rest of his NBA career. It’s an absolute crying shame the NBA never figured out Big Ando was the Original Unicorn.
Oh well. Now The Great Aussie Dane is back in Oz with the 11 rings — more than MJ, LeBron, Chris Paul and James Harden combined! — that he’s won all the way around the world, and smashing it for Melbourne United Basketball Club on his way to an NBL title!!
#ONYA Stretched-Out Delly!
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