A year ago today, Thon ‘Thon Song’ Maker — dead-set South Sudanese-Aussie ledge and ageless terror — was struggling through a rookie year with Milwaukee Bucks that had more up and downs than the Wild Mouse rollercoaster at Luna Park. And in a big Bucks win over Blake Griffin and the L.A. Clippers, the best and worst of Thon Song were on display.
And I’ll tell ya: you can see why he was anointed by none other than Kevin Garnett as a future NBA MVP: the big lanky ledge moves like a gazelle mixed with my mate Pete the Shagger’s Ford XR8 Ute, and ran rings around the Clips while also getting up shots for days in only the 12th start of his young NBA career.
The problem was, Big Thon Thon-Thon Thon-Thon’s basketball prowess hadn’t caught up to his physical gifts (he’s working hard on that still), and in his almost-16 minutes, while he launched 8 shots like he had a bazooka attached to his right shoulder, the inspiration for Sisqo’s entire being only nailed two of them and missed ALL four of the three-pointers he chucked up like Pete the Shagger after too many tins down the RSL on a Friday. Big Thon finished with four points — all probably scored over that flog Austin Rivers — while Jason Kidd probably scanned the Bradley Center crowd for 20 year old hotties who hated their dad.
BUT! Unlike footy on the Gold Coast, all was not lost! Realizing his shot wasn’t falling, Big Thon concentrated on the other aspects of his game, and had dumps like a truck, truck. He got up higher than Mt Kosciusko to grab a rebound, passed off an assist so sublime it started a ska band, and delivered a block so demoralising it booked Brandon Bass a first-class ticket and put him on a direct flight to the Chinese Basketball League.
So, while his compatriot, King Delly of Maryborough, First of His Name, Gatherer of Loose Balls and Sinker of Tins was having one of HIS best outings as a Buck — with 15 points and 8 assists — Thon Maker battled manfully in his 15 minutes, showing off the heart, grit and wilfulness to battle through adversity that make him a bloody South Sudanese-Aussie legend!
#ONYA Thon Song!