‘Strayan Nickame:
‘Wiggum’ / ‘Shorty’ / ‘Sammy’ / ‘Oscar’

Teams played for:
Houston Rockets (’83-’87)
Golden State Warriors (’87-’89)
Sacramento Kings (’89-91)
Washington #Bullets (’91-’92)

Career Stats (per game):
15.4 pts // 8.8 rebs // 2.3 asts// 0.9 stls // 1.6 blks // 48.6 FG% // 17.2 3P%

Best known for:
– Being bloody 7’4”
– Being part of the Rockets ‘Twin Towers’ team with Hakeem
– Hitting the shot that beat the Lakers and sent the Rockets to the ‘86 Finals

– Beating the piss out of Jerry Sichting in the ’86 Finals

– Being 7’4” and somehow rebounding worse than Draymond Green – Big Ralphy reckoned he was a guard
– Moved like Russell, passed like Wilt and could score like Kareem… but was only good at basketball for four years
– Chuck Klosterman called him the greatest basketballer who ever played… but was still a bust
– Filing for bankruptcy a couple of years out of the NBA… almost makes you wonder if playing 3 extra unpaid years in college (the Celtics tried to get him to declare in 1980) was REALLY worth it
– Having 8 kids to 5 women and has been to court twice for failure to pay child support
– Going to jail in ‘07 for mail fraud
– Being an ALL-TIME what if: ‘what if Ralph Sampson’s knees never gave out’

Dead-Set Ledge Status:
Assured! Was a college legend and if his body hadn’t fallen apart quicker than an ‘84 Holden Camira, I reckon those Rockets would’ve DOMINATED the ‘80s. Big Ralphy was legitimately special — and not in the way of his Wiggum namesake: he averaged 21/11 as a rookie — and it was damn shame we only got 4 years of basketball from the big fella

#ONYA Ralphy!

Smash the NBA Straya Podcast HERE!