RANDOM GUY: Ah, excuse me?

ME: Did you know that exactly ONE YEAR AGO today, Matthew Dellavedova, better known as ‘Delly, the first King of Maryborough’ had one of his best ever games for his new team, the Milwaukee Bucks?

RANDOM GUY: Huh?

ME: Yeah man, you know Delly right? Scrappy little guy who was created by the universe out of nothing but grit, basketball-playing sinew and mongrel desire?

RANDOM GUY: Why are you talking to me?

ME: Seriously, a year ago today, Delly scored 11 points and went more nuts than the time Toadfish ‘Toadie’ Rebecchi’s first wife Dee Bliss came back to life in ‘Neighbours’!

RANDOM GUY: Wow! That IS pretty nuts!

ME: I know, right? And I’ll tell ya something else for free, Delly bloody well started for the Bucks, hitting all of his free throws and 3 of his 6 3-point attempts! That’s the sort of display that keeps people calling Stephen Curry the ‘American Delly’!

RANDOM GUY: I can see that…

ME: …but the rest of the team let Australia’s greatest living treasure down by losing to the Toronto Raptors by 16 points!

RANDOM GUY: Bastards!

ME: Totally. So, Delly also had two rebounds that he nabbed through sheer will, grit and hustle, and also had two assists that landed perfectly in the hands of his intended targets!

RANDOM GUY: Wow!

ME: Definitely. He also had a steal that was so pinpoint perfect that the opposing player who had the ball didn’t know it’d disappeared for a full ten seconds, like Delly was David bloody Blaine or something!

RANDOM GUY: Nice!

ME: Totally. How’s this though: the bloody refs slugged Delly with two fouls.

RANDOM GUY: Mongrels.

ME: Definitely. I reckon it’s anti-Strayan bias.

RANDOM GUY: Definitely.

ME: Did you also know that Milwaukee is Algonquin for ‘The Good Land’?

RANDOM GUY: Yes! I remember that from ‘Wayne’s World’!

ME [pointing at RANDOM GUY]: does this guy know how to party or what!?

BOTH: *laughing*

ME: Ok; good talk. Have a great day.

RANDOM GUY: Wait, who ARE You?

ME: *vanishes into a cloud of air that smells like grit, heart and the sun-drenched car park of the Maryborough K-Mart*

#ONYA Delly!

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