20 years ago today the first sighting of a real life unicorn was reported, as Chris Anstey — aka the Original Unicorn, aka the Melbourne Menace, aka Aussie Porzingis — went to work for the Dallas Mavericks in a loss to the Boston Celtics… and had the BEST game of his rookie season to that point! Geez, reckon the big fella must’ve had about 40 #weetbix that morning.
Coming off the bench because coach Jim Cleamons clearly didn’t realise he had the second coming of bloody Patrick Ewing on his squad, Big Chris Anstey smashed more than Clarkey against the Poms in 2013.
In 21 minutes the big fella had his FIRST EVER double-digit scoring night, putting up 12 points on 6-of-7 shooting, showing off the silky smooth skills that had seen him called the ‘most talented Aussie center since Ray Borner’… since he was 7-years-old.
Not only that, but Chrisso threw his wiry frame into the fray with a reckless abandon reminiscent of a young ‘Lethal’ Leigh Matthews, tearing down 8 mammoth rebounds like he was recreating bloody Spartan King Leonidas taking on the Persian army at Thermopylae all by himself!
He also added a single perfect assist that was delivered into the arms of Bubba Wells with such cradling delicacy it was rumoured to have caused 8 nearby women to swoon, and one block on Travis Knight that ruined the poor bugger’s career and had him flinching at the sight of any Australian anywhere. To this day, the poor fella can’t even visit the Goldie or enjoy a nice glass of Yellow Tail cab sav without getting the shakes.
And, in ANOTHER example of the NBA’s (aka the No Bloody Australians association) systematic Anti-Strayan bias, poor Chriso was slugged with 5 absolutely rubbish fouls by the mongrel refs.
Still. 12 points, 8 rebounds and a block while the refs were trying to stop him at every turn!? That’s more bloody beautiful than Binga Lee coming in off a long run-up from the SCG’s Bradman end!
And even though it was easily big Chrisso’s best rookie game to date, he’d go on to better it two more times! About bloody time the Aussie Porzingis got some shine as the NBA’s first unicorn ay.
#ONYA Big Chrisso!
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