It’s an auspicious day at NBA Straya, as today we look back at the time, NINE YEARS AGO TODAY that big Andrew Bogut — the Croatian-Australian Wilt Chamberlain — went hammer and tongs for his Milwaukee Bucks vs the Orlando Magic (& ironically, the Polish Hammer, Marcin Gortat). And, I’ll tell ya what, the Hulking Human Headline went harder than Tony ‘Plugger’ Lockett at the Ballarat Pizza Hut all-you-can-eat buffet!
See, The Pride of Endeavour Hills — and noted municipal council commentator/twitter pundit — gave Marcin a rougher night than the last time Andrew O’Keefe hit up Revs.
While the rest of his team wilted like a used franger on a Frankston footpath, Bogey fought like bloody Jeff Fenech at the Sydney Entertainment Centre in ’88 and put up a ridiculous 31 points on 13-of-20 shooting! 13-of-20! Reckon most of them came through a combination of post moves more silky-smooth than Gary Ablett Jr’s bonce and dunks more thunderous than a night watching the V8s at Calder Park.
Crazily — Boges only went 5-of-16 from the free throw line, meaning he left 11 points out there abandoned on the pine like the texts on Dwight Howard’s phone from his kids!
The Titanic Tweeter also tore down an absolute ripper EIGHTEEN rebounds like mighty Samson tearing down the Temple of Dagon, stole two balls so thoroughly that there’s still a ‘wanted’ poster for him somewhere in the Milwaukee’s sheriff’s department, & added an assist that — considering he was surrounded by the likes of John Salmons and Brandon Jennings — clearly came a fit of charity more befitting Princess bloody Di.
The Cranky Croat also had two blocks so comprehensively brutal that they were officially deemed ‘worse than the time that useless flog Darren Milburn blindsided poor Steve Silvagni down at Princess Park’.
31 points, 18 rebounds, 2 blocks, 2 steals and an assist! Mate, that’s a performance more crushing than the time Drazic cheated on Anita and she got back at him by hooking up with bloody Todd!
Just goes to show what Big Bogey could’ve achieved if it weren’t for that mongrel Amare Stoudemire undercutting him later that season & mangling his elbow so bad it looked like Baby John Burgess’ ballsack. What a waste.
But still. At least he got to carry Steph Curry and co to a ring in 2015 hey!
#ONYA Big Bogey!