Q- what city in the world has produced the most no. 1 NBA draft picks?
A- only bloody Melbourne mate! …. And one of ’em, noted ‘great leader’, flat-earth enthusiast (therefore certified nutbar) and good phone friend of LeBron James — Kyrie Irving — made his playoff debut for the Cleveland Cavaliers 4 years ago… and tore Avery Bradley and co. a new one bigger than the ol’ Super Pit over by Kalgoorlie!
And look, sure Uncle Drew is a dual citizen — all thanks to his dad Drederick Irving pulling ’em on for the Bulleen Boomers back in the day — but you can’t deny that 30 points in your playoff debut isn’t about as badarse than Jean Claude Van Damme in ‘Bloodsport’.
For a man who seemingly doesn’t believe in the concepts of ‘horizons’, ‘curvature’, ‘mass’ or ‘gravity’ — while spending his working life shooting a globe in a parabolic arc — shooting 11-of-21 must have been particularly confusing, let alone going 5-of-9 from long-range, including his bomb of a buzzer-beater at the end of the 1st half…
STILL! That’s what the Aussie-born ledge did! And Kyrie also nabbed 3 rebounds, handed off 2 assists, grabbed a steal and blocked a shot, all while presumably wandering around in a state of confusion while pondering astro-physics and how ships don’t fall off his ‘flat’ planet Earth. If nothing else, we should commend his ability to multi-task!
Anyway! 30 points on jaw-dropping shooting alogn with an all-mighty beat down of the Boston Celtics? Not bloody bad for a debut there Ky!
Now, all we need you to do is bounce from Team USA, strap on the green & gold and back up Big Simmo and Delly on the Boomers for Tokyo 2020 and we’ll be set!
#ONYA Aussie Kyrie!