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NBA Straya – NEVER FORGET: Matthew Dellavedova’s best rookie game! Cavs vs Pistons, April 9, 2014

#NBA #Straya Never Forget!

*a supermarket in the USA*

 

CHECK OUT LADY: Hi, how are you!

*beep*

ME: Yeah not bad, yourself?

CHECK OUT LADY: Good, thank you.

*beep*

ME: Good, good.

CHECK OUT LADY: How was everything today sir? Find everything alright?

ME: Look, to be honest… there was something missing.

*beep*

CHECK OUT LADY: Oh, I’m sorry! Was there something I can help with?

ME: Yeahhhh, I’m just a bit… sorry, what was your name?

CHECK OUT LADY: Sally.

ME: Sally, I was just wondering where the Dellys were?

*beep*

SALLY: I’m sorry, the Dell-ies? Our deli counter is just over there… but we’ve only got one.

ME: Yeah nah, ya Dell-Ys. With a ‘Y’.

SALLY: …. … I don’t follow. What’s a delly?

*beep*

ME: Sally… You serious?

SALLY: Ah. I guess?

ME: You don’t know Delly?

SALLY: Should I?

ME: King Delly of Maryborough, First of His Name, Gatherer of Loose Balls, Chopper of Knees, Sinker of Tins?

SALLY [shaking her head]: I’m sorry sir, I have no idea what you’re talking about.

ME: The cosmic gathering of basketball-playing sheer will, grit and determination?

SALLY: [shrugs]

ME: Outback Jesus?

*beep*

SALLY: No, sorry.

ME: Hmmm… I guess that explains why there are no Delly cut-outs in here on this most Holy of Delly Days.

SALLY: Delly cut outs?

ME: You know; big lifesize cardboard cutouts…

SALLY: ….

ME: I think I need to speak to your manager.

*beep*

SALLY: Is that necessary?

ME: Very.

SALLY [Yelling]: MIIIIIKE. This guy wants to talk to you.

[MIKE comes over]

ME: Hey… Mike was it?

MIKE: Yes sir, what seems to be the problem here?

SALLY: He wants to know where our Dellys are… I told him we only had one Deli counter.

*beep*

ME: Mike, I’m just disappointed Sally here doesn’t know a) who Delly is, and b) why this day is important.

MIKE: You’re going to have to forgive me sir, but what are you referencing when you say ‘Delly’.

ME [shocked]: C’mon Mike. Pull the other one; it plays Shannon Noll’s ‘What About Me’.

*beep*

MIKE: Sir, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

ME: Mike. C’mon, be serious…. You know Delly. He’s only the scrappiest and best point guard in the NBA.

MIKE: He’s a basketball player? Like LeBron James?

ME [laughing]: Well, LeBron’s a basketball player *like* Delly…

[serious]

and a basketball player who hasn’t won a title in Cleveland without Delly, by the way.

SALLY: He wants to know why we don’t have cutouts of this Delly here today.

ME: Damn right I do Mike.

*beep*

MIKE: Ah, sir… Why would we have cutouts of a basketball player in our supermarket?

ME: Glad you asked Mike. See, on this day, back in 2014, old mate Matthew Dellavedova had probably the best game of his rookie year!

MIKE [confused]: … And?

ME: See Mike, in this game against Detroit, Delly came off the bench for his Cleveland Cavaliers and scored 14 points…

MIKE [interrupting]: … Sir…

*beep*

ME: Don’t interrupt me Mike, I’m just about sick of your over-the-top LeBron-loving… So he had 14 points on, get this, 5-of-8 shooting from the field… AND hit FOUR of SIX threes!

MIKE: Sir, be that as it may…

ME: What’d I say about interrupting me with your LeBron love Mike?

MIKE: Sorry Sir.

ME: Good man. ANYWAY. So, Delly has his 14 points right?

MIKE & SALLY: Right.

*beep*

ME: AND he had 4 rebounds, which for a bloke who’s 6-foot nothing is pretty bloody good, wouldn’t you agree?

MIKE & SALLY: [nodding]

*beep*

ME: Ken oath. SO, he’s got his 14 points and 4 rebounds… and he has a steal too!

MIKE: …Ok?

ME: BUT! The best bit though? Delly only bloody well set his rookie-year high with 12 assists!

MIKE: Wow… Is… is that a lot?

ME: What the hell is wrong with you Mike?

MIKE: [shrugs]

ME: Too bloody right it is! For a backup rookie point guard 14 and 12 — while shooting 62.5% — is remarkable!

MIKE: A backup? I thought you said he was the best point guard in the NB?

ME: The two aren’t mutually exclusive Mike.

MIKE: Oh.

ME: So there you go. That’s why on this day we celebrate! It’s the anniversary of one of Delly’s best rookie games!

SALLY: Ok, so…

ME: I don’t hear any beeping Sally.

SALLY: … I finished about five minutes ago sir, and there’s a really big line behind you…

ME [turning to Mike]: Mike I’ll bring you round some of my Delly cutouts so you’ll be ready for next year!

MIKE: Ah… ok?

ME: Good man… and remember one thing Mike, Sally.

SALLY & MIKE: Yes?

ME: Delly is life.

*Vanishes in a puff of smoke that smells like the Maryborough maccas carpark*

 

#ONYA rookie Delly!

 

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