Hoist ‘em up! 20 years ago today, the Murderin’ Melburnian, big Chris Anstey, was in his rookie year with the Dallas Mavericks and, ON ONLY BLOODY ST PATTYS DAY, torched the Boston Celtics like Johnny Storm in a wicker furniture store on his way to the BEST GAME OF HIS ROOKIE YEAR… and set an NBA CAREER HIGH in the process!
Boasting a haircut you could set your watch to, Anstey looked at Antoine Walker — who, it’s rumoured, wandered onto the court eating a Happy Meal — shook his head and called time on the Celtics playoff hopes, putting in more hard yakka than a Mentone mason around Macedonian Orthodox Easter.
In his 38 minutes the Aussie Porzingis showed off a raft of offensive skills longer than the instruction manual for a VL Walkinshaw SS Commodore and went a mind-boggling 11-of-15 (73%!) from the field and hitting 4 of his 6 trips to the charity stripe on his way to 26 points… his NBA CAREER HIGH!
Not only that, but the Original NBA Unicorn filled up that sheet more than Tony Plugger Lockett’s plate at the Ballarat Pizza Hut all-you-can-eat buffet!
Standing astride Andrew DeClerq like the bloody Colossus of Rhodes, Big Chrisso ripped down 8 rebounds, added one assist so beautiful that a picture of it now hangs in the Louvre with its own armed guard, swiped 2 steals that still give Kenny Anderson the shakes any time he speaks to an Australian or has a glass of Yellowtail, and had one block so disrespectful it called up Dana Barros’ mum on the phone and swore at her.
Sure, he also had 4 turnovers and 3 fouls, but you get that on the big jobs.
26 points! 8 rebounds! 1 assist! 2 steals! 1 block! On 11-15 shooting! That’s more beautiful than a Black Rock sunrise! And bloody Dallas had only barely started playing the poor bugger in March! Reckon Jim Cleamons and Don Nelson were bigger jokers than bloody Dave Hughes.
That line would also not just be an NBA career high for Aussie Porzingis — who would go on to be a three-time NBL champ and two-time NBL MVP — but would also be the BEST GAME of his ENTIRE NBA career!
Not bloody bad ay. So! Raise a tin to a man more dominating than Wayne ‘the Dominator’ Johnston, big Chris Anstey, the Original Unicorn!
#ONYA Big Chrisso!