#NBA #Straya Never Forget series!
RANDOM BLOKE: [to me] Sorry, were you next?
ME: Nah nah, you’re right, off you go
RANDOM BLOKE: [to the bartender] Yeah, I’ll have two vodka sodas and two white wines please
ME: Geez, what it is, your hens night?
RANDO: Sorry… What’d you just say?
ME: I said ‘Are you celebrating King Delly’s game from four years back too?’
RANDO: Excuse me?
ME: Yeah, y’know, Delly? The best point guard in the NBA?
RANDO: Hang on. Isn’t that, like, that Steph Curry guy?
ME: [speechless] … ….. You don’t know Delly?
RANDO: Look. I’m very sorry, I have no idea what you’re talking about.
ME: Pull the other one mate, it plays Alex Lloyd’s ‘Amazing’…. You seriously don’t know who Matthew Dellavedova is?
RANDO: No, I don’t.
ME: King Delly of Maryborough, First of His Name, Gatherer of Loose Balls, Sinker of Tins?
RANDO: Not ringing any bells, sorry.
ME: The collection of fast-twitch muscle and basketball cunning that carried LeBron James and Kyrie Irving to an NBA title in 2016?
RANDO: [shaking head]
ME: Well… look. Just imagine the cosmos created a ball of energy, gave it more heart than Phar Lap and more grit than the Gobi desert… you with me — what’s your name?
RANDO: John…
ME: Ok John. Now, you got that picture in your head?
JOHN: Sure
ME: Now, John, imagine that ball of energy, grit, and heart was the best point guard in the NBA.
JOHN: Like Steph Curry?
ME: You say that name again John, and you and I are going to have a real problem.
JOHN: Ok, sorry.
ME: Too bloody right. Anyway. So, what I was talking about was Delly’s game four years ago today. That’s why you’re here right? To celebrate? That’s why we’re all here
[waves hand at full pub]
JOHN: Um. No, I got promot…
ME: [interrupting] No one cares John. Now listen up. Four years ago today, Delly was in only his second year with the Cavs, and this was only his 10th start of the year… but everyone already knew he was basically the Aussie John Stockton and the best point guard defender in the universe. You ever see anyone dunk on a water buffalo John?
JOHN: … No?
ME: Too bloody right – and you won’t see anyone dunk on Delly. OK?
JOHN: … Okay?
ME: C’mon mate, keep up. So, the Cleveland Cavaliers are playing the Indiana Pacers right… and that princess LeBron James decided to chuck a sickie — wait, you know who LeBron James is, don’t you John?
JOHN: Of course… Oh look my drinks are here I better g…
ME: [interrupting] They can wait John. This is important.
JOHN: … Ok.
ME: Just as well… Right. Where were we?
JOHN: Um… No Lebron?
ME: That’s it! So the Cavs turned it over to the next best thing.
JOHN: … … Delly?
ME: [clapping John on the back] There you go! NOW you’re learning!
JOHN: [breathing a sigh of relief]
ME: So, get this John. Delly goes out there, plays 38 minutes AND TAKES THE MOST SHOTS IN ANY GAME FOR HIS ENTIRE CAREER TO DATE!
JOHN: Wow! That IS pretty impressive… wait, how many shots did he take?
ME: Eighteen of the bloody things John, each more glorious than the last!
JOHN: … Hang on, how many did he hit out of eighteen?
ME: … Five. But that’s not the bloody point John. Cos he still ended up with 14 points, and 10 rebounds. TEN rebounds John! The little fella’s only 6-4!
JOHN: Wow! That IS impressive!
ME: You’re bloody right wow. And he also had 5 assists… but it should’ve been about 20, but bloody JR Smith and Iman Shumpert both went 7-of-17 each, missing all the open shots Delly set them up for.
JOHN: Bugger.
ME: You’re not wrong there John. So there you go. He also got slugged with four fouls by the mongrel refs, and had four turnovers… but you get that on the big jobs.
JOHN: I guess… So what were his stats?
ME: Just a lazy 14 points, 10 rebounds and 5 assists.
JOHN: That’s pretty damn good! Man, this Delly sounds amazing!
ME: Of course he bloody well is. Best point guard in the NBA John. Also – get around Sportsbooks Online
*knocks back Corona tinnie*
ME: Well, my work here is done. Good talk. Enjoy your hens night girl drinks!
JOHN: Huh?
ME:
*vanishes in a puff of smoke that smells like the weekly barbie at the Maryborough Mitre 10 run by Stewie Crameri’s parents*
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