Ah, 1997. What a year! Everyone was laughing their balls off at ‘The Castle’ — officially recognised by Guinness as the world’s funniest movie — smashing Silverchair’s opus ‘Freak Show’ while decked out in cargo shorts and Jebediah T-shirts and hoping Drazic & Anita were gonna make it…. Meanwhile, on the other side of the Pacific, a giant Sandgroper by the name of Lucien ‘Big Luc’ Longley was launching skyhooks more deadly than an inland taipan and laying picks more solid than a brick Bundaberg shitter while leading the Chicago Bulls to their second straight NBA title!
That’s right: 21 years ago on this most solemn of days, Luc Longley — aka Lucky Luc, aka Cool Hands Luc, aka the Thunder from Down Under, aka Aussie Bill Russell — was getting busy on the way to sweeping the floor with ‘My Giant’ Gheorghe Mureșan and the rest of the Washington #Bullets.
Look, sure the Thunder From Down Under only shot 4-of-10 from the field… but you try shooting over a 7-foot bloody-20 — roughly the equivalent of about 40 Billy Crystals — Romanian giant and see how you go!
Luc still managed his 9 points (he also his 1-of-2 FTs) in the opening game of the Chicago-Washington series… And, as befits an Aussie legend the likes of which ought to have been mythologised in a bloody Banjo Paterson poem, also added 5 rebounds! It would’ve been more, but those glory-chasing stats hogs Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen kept stealing the big fella’s boards!
But Lucky Luc wasn’t content with 9 points and 5 boards, oh no. Like a 7-foot, Phil ‘The Human Combover’ Smyth, Luc also handed out SIX delicious assists that were smoother than Anthony Callea’s chest.
And all that in just 26 minutes of Big Luc schooling Chris Webber, Juwan Howard and that terrifying behemoth Muresan in the art of being not just a dominating NBA center, but also a dead-set bloody ledge!
I hear rumour that, just for good measure, Big Luc also reverse kanga’d the brand new dunnies at the MCI Center too!!
#ONYA Big Lucien!