On this day, 20 years ago, Chris Anstey — aka the Original Unicorn, aka Aussie Porzingis — was finishing up his rookie year with the Dallas Mavericks, and, in the last game of the year got himself his 8th ever NBA start, next to ‘Space Jam’ star/giant spud Shawn Bradley. Staring across the hardwood from Big Chriso were the blurry eyes of Vin Baker, the yapping mouth of Gary ‘The Glove’ Payton and the Seattle Supersonics.
Toting a haircut sharper than Mick Dundee’s knife blade, young Chriso had been hotter than Anne-Maree Biggar from ‘Agro’ over his last 12 games too! Ever since he’d gotten his first start — after Don Nelson put down his scotch long enough to realise he had one of the most promising young big men in the league on his team — the big fella averaged a lazy 11.5 ppg and 5.7 rpg to close out the year.
And, in this game against the Sonics — during which Detlef Schrempf briefly nodded at him in appreciation of his hairstyle — Anstey played with more power and grace than a cheetah crossed with an XY Falcon GT.
In his 15 minutes, The Original Unicorn put in more work than a Coolangatta copper on schoolies, finishing with 8 points – hitting 2-of-5 shots from the floor and going 3-for-4 from the charity stripe. More importantly though, Anstey also showed off his unicorn prowess, connecting from downtown on a 3-pointer like he was some sort of bloody 7-foot Larry Bird!
Like Jamie Durie, though, Anstey was no one-trick pony leaping over that lumberjack turnip Jim McIlvaine to snag his 5 rebounds. Aussie Porzingis also added a perfectly-handed off assist, swiped a steal that was so devious that noted Mormon Shawn Bradley hissed and called it ‘the Devil’s Work’, and, showing better defensive instincts than Steve Waugh in Antigua in ’95, delivered a block so brutal that Greg Anthony started crying. From the sidelines.
How’s that! Now, I’m no maths scientist, but Anstey’s per-36 numbers were a mindboggling 19/12/3/3/3! Just about befits the NBA’s first unicorn!
The big problem? The 4 fouls called against him as the mongrel refs paid Big Anstey — a three-time NBL champ and two-time NBL MVP — about as much bloody respect as Razor Ray does the Dons!
Oh well. You get that on the big jobs. Especially when, like Chriso in his last rookie game, you crush it like a minimum chips and passiona can from the North Mitcham fish’n’chip shop!
#ONYA Big Chris Anstey!!
