Three years ago today (that’s ‘2017’ for those in the cheap seats), the only man on Earth longer than a Nullarbor roadtrain — Aussie kung-fu ledge Thon Maker — had a look in his eye so devilsh that he tugged on his extra-long Milwaukee Bucks jersey and lined up his future team the Detroit Pistons like he was Matty Lloyd going after Brad Sewell back in ’09, and had himself A CAREER HIGH SCORING OUTING!
That’s right: Thon Song ruined the Pistons more than my mate Darren did that V-Line train dunny after the Tiges won the Granny! And just like Dazza, ThonSong showed everyone he had dumps like a truck, truck, scoring more at will than SisQó himself in countless South Beach nightclubs full of hotties with daddy issues back in ’04.
On this night though, ThonSong was more unstoppable than Wayne Carey with a teammate’s missus, torching Andre Drummond and Jon ‘Spud’ Leuer to the tune of 9-of-12 from the field… and as it turns out, that tune more inspiring than bloody Grinspoon’s ‘Just Ace’… Cos Thon also set a CAREER HIGH by also shooting a jaw-dropping 4-of-7 from three! 4-of-7! Like a bloody-7-foot Kung-Fu Fighting Steph Curry!!
That meant Thon ended up with a patently ridiculous 23 points, showing just why noted weirdo & Netflix star Kevin Garnett saw fit to call him a future NBA MVP!
I’ll tell ya, all night lawwwwwwnnnng the Pistons saw that Thonnnnnn…..Thon Thon-Thon-Thon-Thon as ThonSong also snagged 2 rebounds and had one steal so stunning that fellow Aussie Aron Baynes’ hair was so shook most of it fell out & for 3 years the poor bugger had a bonce that looked like a shaved albino pineapple with a knot of garlic on top!
So there you go! A CAREER HIGH 23 points for Thon, only 3 years ago! Here’s hoping he sticks with the Pistons & stops scaring Blake Griffin with his ginormous schlong-schlong -schlong -schlong -schlong — a rig that’s like a baby’s arm holding an apple — and that Dwane ‘No y’ Casey gives our fella a bit of run so we can all go ‘lemme see that Thonnnnnnnnn… THON THON-THON THON THON!’ nek season!
#ONYA Thon!
