You little ripper! How’s this!? On this exact day — both one AND two years ago — Aron ‘Bangers’ Baynes tied his hair back into a man-bun tighter than Thorpie’s speedos and posted a pair of massive CAREER HIGHS! On the same day! In BACK-TO-BACK YEARS! That’s more bonkers than that chick in year 9 at my high school who tried to stab a teacher!
Yep. Despite being a cement mixer that someone put an NBA jersey on, two years ago against the Brooklyn Nets, Bangers went absolute spare, shooting 8-for-13 from the field and 5-for-5 from the line for a CAREER HIGH 21 points!
And, showing that he possesses more tools than a Cabramatta carpenter, the man with a shaved albino pineapple for a noggin’ added 7 elbows-out rebounds, 1 expertly-slung assist and a block that not only sent poor Henry Sims back to the G-League, but packed his bags and bought him a bus ticket.
THING IS, that career high was in only 18 minutes! Bangers was on track for per-36 numbers of a lazy 42 points and 14 rebounds… and he would’ve bloody well got there but for the mongrel refs who called five RUBBISH fouls on the poor bugger, reffing Bangers like they were Hayden Kennedy and he was the bloody Essendon Football Club!
Then… a full 365 days later, Bangers went BANG again, this time against the Phoenix Suns, shooting 5-of-9 from the floor and 3-of-3 from the charity stripe for 13 points smoother than the running brickwork on an East Keilor double-fronted brick veneer…
And that’s not all! In his 18 minutes, The Man From Mareeba dominated the Useless Ukrainian Alex Len like he was Stirling Mortlock against the Kiwis in ’03, and brutalised the Suns for 17 rebounds — SEVEN-BLOODY-TEEN of the buggers — easily his NBA CAREER BEST!
13 & 17 in only 18 minutes! Geez, Aron Baynes that’s better than a green demon after a day of hard yakka. Reckon after that career night Bangers probably snuck into the Suns lockerroom and upper decked the visitor’s dunnies for good measure!
It’s no bloody coincidence that Detroit — a team more full of useless flogs than Freo — won both games that Bangers went ballistic in either! And, don’t forget, the Boston Celtics are currently 37-18 when he starts too. Reckon Bangers is more underrated than Grinspoon’s debut!
So there you go. How’s that!? Not just boasting a trouser-snake that still gives ol’ Tommy Heinsohn the night terrors, Bangers posted CAREER HIGHS in points and rebounds on the SAME DATE IN BACK-TO-BACK YEARS!! You bloody beaut!
#ONYA Bangers!
