Eight years back, long before he was leading Stephen Curry & the Golden State Warriors to an NBA title, Andrew Bogut, — the Croatian Wilt Chamberlain — stood taller than Mount Kosciuszko and led the Milwaukee Bucks to a win over the New Jersey #Nets more crushing than the time Drazic cheated on Anita and she got back at him by hooking up with bloody Todd!
Now, granted, the 4-48 Nets would’ve struggled to beat the Nunawading mixed-U12s netball team… but Big Bogey devoured them like the double parma and chips at the Glen Waverley Schnitz!
Endeavour Hills’ favourite son put up a line more staggering than Dane ‘Swanny’ Swan after a bit night on the turps at the Richmond Club Hotel, and in showing off a menu of offensive moves deeper than the one at The Pancake Parlour, Big Bogey shot 11-of-22 from the field for a flame-grilled whopping 22 points!
Not content with being a more dominating scorer than ‘Dooks’ Viduka when he and his giant chin were running rampant for Leeds United back in the day, Big Bogey also ripped down 9 rebounds like my mate Roofer Tim tearing down rusty corrugated iron from a Newcastle ‘80s weatherboard!
The Crafty Croat also handed off 4 assists more sublime than the ‘90s punk-ska band, had a steal do devious that saw him audition for ‘Fast 5’, and a bloody STAGGERING FOUR blocks that destroyed the souls of the Nets *so* completely that they had to sacrifice Kris Humphries in the bowels of the Izod Center and move to Brooklyn just to continue as a franchise!
Bloody shame that absolute mongrel Amar’e Stoudemire undercut him a month or so later, rendering his right arm more useless than Angry Anderson on a Batmobile.
And now, having been cut by the Lakers, Big Bogey gets to sit on the couch getting paid to piss about on twitter til another contender talks themselves into him and the Croatian Wilt Chamberlain rides to yet another ring! What an inspiration for the children!
**Subscribe to the DAILY NBA Straya podcast here**
** And check out the NBA Straya twitter here**