#NBA #Straya Never Forget!

**phone ringing**

ME: Hello?

TELEMARKETER: Hello sir, my name is Steven and I wou…

ME [interrupting]: Lemme stop you right there Stevo… Have you heard the good news?

TELEMARKETER: Uh… what?

ME: That’s it’s the fourth anniversary of a rookie Delly leading the Cleveland Cavaliers to a crucial win over the Memphis Grizzlies?

TELEMARKETER: Ah… No sir. I did not know that.

ME: Well Stevo… wait. You know who Matthew Dellavedova is right?

TELEMARKETER: Um…

ME: C’mon Steve… Outback Jesus?

TELEMARKETER: Uh…

ME: King Delly of Maryborough, First of his Name, Sinker of Tins?

TELEMARKETER: Sir…

ME [interrupting]: The Wonder from Down Under?

TELEMARKETER: Sir… I have no idea what you’re talking about but I have a great opportuni…

ME [interrupting]:… Y’know, scrappy little guy, composed entirely of heart, grit and fast-twitch sinew almost cosmically attuned to a higher plane of basketball awareness?

TELEMARKETER: Oh! Is that the guy who took out Russell Westbrook couple of years back?

ME: Nah. That was Patrick Beverley. They call him the American Delly… but we all know that Steph Curry is the American Delly….

TELEMARKETER: Oh.

ME: Too bloody right. Anyway Stevo, look, four years back, the Cavs were struggling until Delly stepped on the hardwood.

TELEMARKETER: Sure.

ME: But then Delly came on — and, look, Stevo, remember, the little fella’s just a rookie at this point right?

TELEMARKETER: Right…

ME: … So he comes on… AND DOESN’T MISS A BLOODY SHOT!

TELEMARKETER: Wow! That’s impressive!

ME: You don’t need to tell me twice Stevo.

TELEMARKETER: … So what happened?

ME: Well Stevo, sure Delly only played 12 minutes, but greatness knows no bounds, and like a just like the purple fella from ‘Sesame Street’, he made every single one of those count…

TELEMARKETER: Ha! I see what you did there!

ME: So, he had 5 points

TELEMARKETER:… that’s not mu…

ME [interrupting]: FIVE points, on 2-of-2 shooting, including an and-1, where he caressed the free throw through the hoop like you caress the cheek of your… you married Stevo?

TELEMARKETER: Yessir, I am…

ME: … like you caress the cheek of your wife Stevo! It was a bloody sight to behold, like the sun rising over the Twelve Apostles! AND King Delly also had 3 assists and NO turnovers… and was a bloody +12 for the game!

TELEMARKETER: … that’s… pretty good?

ME: AND A BLOCK!

TELEMARKETER: WHAT!? Wow! Wait… I’m assuming he’s not very tall, right?

ME: Damn straight Stevo. Damn straight; for him to get a block is like Jarrod ‘Toadfish’ Rebecchi from Neighbours hooking up with hotties like Steph Scully and Dee Bliss: not completely incomprehensible, but it clearly takes a lot of effort.

TELEMARKETER: … I … I’m sorry. I don’t get that reference.

ME: It’s alright Stevo, we can’t all be as perfect Delly

[both laughing]

ME: Aaaaanyway – so that’s the story of a rookie Delly back in Cleveland in 2014 leading his Cavs to a win!

TELEMARKETER: Sir. That was marvellous.

ME: Yeah, shame the dead set ledge is hurt at the moment… but he’ll be back quicker than you can say ‘meet ya for tinnies in the Maryborough Maccas carpark!’

TELEMARKETER: … I don’t know what that means either, but now I can’t wait!

ME: Alright Stevo. Good talk. Have a good one ay?

TELEMARKETER: Wait… I wanna know more abou…

ME: *click*

 

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