It might be hard to believe, but it was only two short years ago that Cam ‘Air’ Bairstow was tying back his flowing flaxen locks, shrugging on a No. 41 Chicago Bulls jersey with the lithe grace of a young David ‘The Admiral’ Robinson mixed with a cheetah, starting his THIRD-EVER NBA game, and delivering the THIRD HIGHEST scoring game of his career!
And look, the Rampager from Runcorn knows only three things: Wally Lewis was the greatest Australian ever, XXXX Gold is sweeter than mother’s milk, and Saturdays are for the boys… But, with Pau Gasol out due to a sprained wrist (probably worn down from years of making tapas and carrying Kobe Bryant), the Big Banana Bender grabbed his chance to start against the Denver Nuggets… and proceeded to put on a show more cooked than Ranger Stacey flirting with Agro on ‘Agro’s Cartoon Connection’.
How’s this? In 10 minutes and 25 seconds, Air Bairstow chucked up four shots in rapid succession (including a 3-pointer)… and sure, the Golden Child of Australian basketball only hit one, but, just like you and I, Airstow knows that when you’ve got girl’s hair, you’ve gotta dunk it like a man… So the one shot Air Bairstow DID hit was a thunderous dunk that sent JJ Hickson to the Spanish league.
Anyway, to get to his 4 points Airstow also knocked in two free throws with a pinpoint precision evoking memories of bloody Michael Diamond winning the gold at Sydney 2000… but not to be stoped there, he also tore 4 rebounds down from the heavens like MVP season Charles Barkley, and added an assist so smooth Derrick Rose later got it pregnant.
The problem was, in yet ANOTHER example of clear Anti-Strayan bias, the mongrel refs somehow slugged Australia’s Charles Barkley with FIVE fouls! IN TEN BLOODY MINUTES! Can you believe that!? Five fouls in 10 minutes! If you wanna try to tell me that’s not clear Strayaphobia, you can pull the other one: it plays Alex Lloyd’s ‘Amazing’.
And even though Air Bairstow was +5 for the game, AND it was his FIFTH BEST GAME of the year, the Big Banana Bender would only play SIX more games in the NBA… At least, six more ‘to date’… because we’d never rule out a triumphant NBA return for Air Bairstow, once he gets his knee right. Because who’d bet against Airstow? Not bloody us. After all, he’s half man, half amazing, half luscious head of hair.
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